What kind of shoes do all spies wear? Sneakers.
Q: Where does a boat go when it's sick?
A: To the dock!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
Do you know why diarrhea is hereditary? Because it runs through your jeans. What would you do if I stole a kiss? Call the Police
What's the first bet that most people make in their lives? the alpha bet
What did the stamp say to the envelope? Stick with me and we will go places!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
Why did the robber take a bath? Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What do you call sad coffee?" Despresso.
What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky.
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price."
"Yea but that would make no sense." replied the dog.
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
Whens the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
What do you get when you plant kisses? Tu-lips (two-lips)
Q: What did one tooth say to the other tooth?
A: Thar's gold in them fills!
What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa? A Clausterphobic
Where does bad light go? PRISM!
Why should you take a pencil to bed? To draw the curtains!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
What do you get when you cross Speedy Gonzales with a country singer? Arriba McEntire.
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
How do you drown a Hipster? In the mainstream.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
What did the earth say to all the other planets?
Wow you guys have no life.
Q: What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil?
A: I hear the doctor is taking us out tonight!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
Why did the daddy rabbit go to the barber?
He had a lot of little hares.
What time is it when you have to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie.
What three candies can you find in every school? Nerds, DumDums, and smarties.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue
What does a shark like to eat with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
Why do sharks swim in saltwater?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY!
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? He wanted to get to the bottom.
What’s the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can’t tunafish.
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
Why did the scientist go to the tanning salon? Because he was a paleontologist.
What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks? Neither, they both weigh a ton!
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum? He got stuck in Orbit.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
Go to BabaMail
