What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What do you call a boy who finally stood up to the bullies? An ambulance.
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentacles.
What did one wall say to the other wall?
"I’ll meet you at the corner!"
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
Q: Why did the tree go to the dentist?
A: To get a root canal.
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Learning how to collect trash wasn’t hard.
I just picked it up as I went along.
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What happens if life gives you melons? Your dyslexic
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What do you call two monkeys sharing an Amazon account?
PRIME-mates.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
Why are pirates called pirates? Cause they arrrrr.
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
Never mind, it’s over your head.
"How do you shoot a killer bee?" "With a bee bee gun."
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
What happened when a faucet, a tomato and lettuce were in a race? The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Where do bulls get their messages? On a bull-etin board.
Did you hear about the sick juggler? They say he couldnt stop throwing up!
Why was the robot mad? People kept pushing its buttons.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
What never asks questions but receives a lot of answers? the Telephone.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Have you heard the joke about the butter? I better not tell you, it might spread. How do baseball players stay cool? They sit next to their fans.
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
What do you call a very rude bird?
A mockingbird!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts. What do you call cheese that is not yours? Nacho Cheese
How do you make a tissue dance? Put a bogey in it.
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
What stays in the corner and travels all over the world? A stamp.
What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy.
Where do sheep go to get haircuts? To the Baa Baa shop!
What has one head, one foot and four legs? A Bed
What do you call a three-footed aardvark? a yardvark!
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
Why didn’t the lamp sink?
It was too light.
What does the Lone Ranger say when he takes out the garbage? To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump.
What did the pink panther say when he stepped on the ant? A. deadant deadant deadant deadant.
What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving? A turkey!
What do you call a funny mountain? hill-arious
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad.
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