What do you call a pile of kittens a meowntain
Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils!
What do you cal purple when it is being mean? Violent.
What do you call a sheep with no head and no legs? A cloud!
Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can roast beef, but you cant pea soup!
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickleback.
How do you know when a bike is thinking?
You can see its wheels turning.
Did you hear about the kidnapping? He woke up.
Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will Let it go.
What pet makes the loudest noise? A trum-pet!
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt!
What stays on the ground but never gets dirty? Shadow.
Why are elephants so wrinkled?
Because they take too long to iron!
How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity?
Shocked!
Q: Has your tooth stopped hurting yet?
A: I don't know, the dentist kept it.
Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk? Because he wanted to work over-time!
What do you call a condiment with a hit single? a must"heard"
Knock, knock
Who’s There?
Annie
Annie Who?
Annie thing you can do, I can do better.
Why was there thunder and lightning in the lab? The scientists were brainstorming!
Why did the belt get arrested? He held up a pair of pants.
Q: What does a dentist do during an earthquake?
A: She braces herself!
Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash!
What was the seal's favorite subject in school?
ART ART ART!
Why is justice best served cold?
Because if it were warm, it would be justwater.
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
What does Minnie Mouse drive?
A Minnie van!
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I'm a cashew!
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business!
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware? Idaho... Alaska!
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield?
There are too many ears.
What do kids play when they can’t play with a phone?
Bored games.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud
Why can't you take a nap during a race? Because if you snooze, you loose!
What has one horn and gives milk?
A milk truck.
Did you hear about the calendar thief? He got 12 months; they say his days are numbered
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
What did the blanket say to the bed? Don't worry, I've got you covered!
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
What did the tie say to the hat? A. You go on ahead and I'll hang around
Did you know a nose cannot be 12 inches long?
Otherwise it’d be a foot!
What kind of key opens a banana? A monkey!
What do lawyers wear to court? Lawsuits!
Q: What did the dentist get for an award?
A: A little plaque
What did the tailor think of her new job? It was sew sew.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
Q: What is a dentist's favorite animal?
A: A molar bear!
Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
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