Which is the building is the largest? The library because it has the most stories.
What belongs to you but others use more? Your name
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? The Day-zzz
What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Thunderwear.
Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one!
Why did the picture go to jail? Because it was framed.
Who do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales.
What the difference between you and a calendar? a calendar has dates.
What kind of button won't unbutton? A bellybutton!
What time is it when people are throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Time to duck.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
What exam do young witches have to pass? A spell-ing test!
Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
Because people kept toasting him!
Why did the insomniac man get arrested? He resisted a rest
What is it called when a cat wins a dog show? A CAT-HAS-TROPHY! How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogey in it!
Did you know vampires aren’t real?
Unless you Count Dracula.
What’s Thanos’ favorite app to talk to friends?
Snap chat.
What kind of berry has a coloring book? A crayon-berry
What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships
19 and 20 got into a fight.
21.
Q: Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A: He was feeling really crumbie!
Why did the giraffe get bad grades? He had his head in the clouds.
Did you hear about the circus fire? Yeah, it was in'tents'.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
What do you call two fat people having a chat? A heavy discussion
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you'll rise and shine!
What does one volcano say to the other?
I lava you!
How does a church congregation defend against an attack by Galactic Imperial Stormtroopers?
They use the pew, pew-pew pews.
Did you ever hear about that movie constipation? It never came out.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? USB
What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? Odor in the court. What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Dam!
What goes up and down but doesn't move? The temperature!
Who goes to the bathroom in the middle of a party? A party pooper.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato? The lettuce was a "head" and the tomato was trying to "ketchup"!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? "Where's Popcorn?"
Can I tell you a joke about paper. Nah, never mind, its tearable.
Who earns a living driving their customers away? A taxi driver. What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAYO
Why was the broom late? It over swept!
What has 5 fingers but isn't your hand?
My hand.
Did you hear the one about the geologist? He took his wife for granite so she left him What did Winnie The Pooh say to his agent? Show me the honey!
How do billboards talk?
Sign language.
Where do snowmen keep their money? In snow banks.
Why is your foot more special than your other body parts? Because they have their own soul. What is heavy forward but not backward? Ton.
Did you hear about the new corduroy pillowcases? Their making headlines...
What did the alien say to the garden? Take me to your weeder.
Where did the computer go to dance? To a disc-o.
If there’s an invasion army of endless flies attacking, who you gonna call?
The fly S.W.A.T. Team!
Why can't a leopard hide? Because he's always spotted!
What's the first thing elves learn in school?
The "elf"-abet!
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