Why does every
watermelon want to be in the Guinness book of records? Because thereโs a lot of
watermelon smashing to be done.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a
watermelon by itโs diameter?
Watermelon PI.
Why are
watermelons, such good entrepreneurs?
โThey always have seed money.โ
Why shouldnโt you go into business with a
watermelon?
โTheyโre seedy.โ
Did you hear about the
watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
โIt was melondramatic.โ
Why did the
watermelon go crazy?
โHe lost his rind.โ
If thatโs the case, would it be wrong to say that the unfaithful
watermelon had an illegitimate daughtermelon?
What do you call a serial killer
watermelon? A slaughter melon.
Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
โIt wanted to be a
watermelon.โ
Do you know what you call the outside of a
watermelon?
โRind of.โ
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
โYou canโt make
watermelon juice out of either of them.โ
What do you call a
watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa? Must be a hottermmelon.
What was the
watermelonโs naughty pick-up line?
โWant to see my melons?โ
What does the
watermelon say to its girlfriend on Valentineโs Day? โ โYou are one in a melon!โ
Why do
watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
โTheyโre always melon it over.โ
What do you calla
watermelon that just wonโt stop committing crimes? A watefelon.
The
watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
How are a car and a bicycle similar?
โYou canโt make
watermelon juice out of either of them.โ
What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
โWhen you eat a
watermelon!โ
What do you call a girl
watermelon cop on the beat? A water fe-melon duty.
Nobody wants to sit next to the
watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
So, what do you do with an epileptic
watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
And speaking of meloncholy, I heard thatโs what you get when you cross a
watermelon and broccoli.
What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
โ
Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)โ
The
watermelon plant didnโt like sharing a garden with passion vines; but they started to grow on him.
If Jim has 15
watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
โA really bad headache!โ
What do you call two
watermelons that are not allowed to get married? A couple of canโt- elopes.
What do you call a girl with no arms, no legs, sitting in a
watermelon patch?
โMelanie! (melon-y)โ
Did you hear about the elusive skating
watermelon thief? Not really, the only description they got was a Caucasian melon wheels.
What did the
watermelon wife say to his stinky husband? Youโve got a strange smelon you today.
So, how on earth did the police catch the
watermelon thief without a solid description? Donโt really know; guess the bloke was acting seedy.
What excuse did the late
watermelon give his boss? He said be there in 5 boss, Iโm just rind the corner.
Forget about
watermelons, I heard having a windmelon your property is the best way to get clean and renewable electricity.
The forecast said that weโre in for a hot summer; better make sure I
watermelon everyday or else the yard will dry up.
I always wondered why the
watermelon loving librarian never touched any of the books; turns out sheโd red them all.
Did you hear the one about the
watermelon pirate who went to the Caribbean? Must have desperately wanted to catch some arrgh and arrgh.
They asked how the
watermelon farmer felt after winning the lottery; clever bugger said he felt like a melon bucks.
Even though Jake was a heartthrob Casanova, he just had to break up with his long-time
watermelon vending girlfriend; said she was always melondramatic about everything.
Did you hear about the new
watermelon powered cars set to come out next year? Yeah, itโs too bad you only get a water-melon the gallon.
I once attended the saddest
watermelon funeral Iโve ever been to. I gotta say, Iโve never seen anything so meloncholy in my life.
I think itโs funny when I ask girls whether they would spit or swallow my seed if I was a
watermelon. Unfortunately, almost all of them reply not in a hundred melon years.
There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat his watermelons.
After some careful thought, he came up with a clever idea that he thought would scare the kids away for sure. He made up a sign and posted it in the field. The next night, the kids showed up and they saw the sign which read, "Warning! One of the watermelons in this field has been injected with cyanide."
The kids ran off, made up their own sign and posted it next to the farmer's.
When the farmer returned, he surveyed the field. He noticed that no watermelons were missing, but the sign next to his read: "Now there are two!"
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