As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
Just saw a burglar kicking his own door in.
I asked: “What are you doing?”
“Working from home.”
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
I may be dressed as a vampire tonihgt, but if you play your cards right you might be the one sucking
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What do you get when a raven flies into a group of 18 crows?
Corvid-19.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
Hi, I'm a zombie, can I eat you?
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
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