I would totally carve your pumpkin.
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Please stop with all the corona jokes.
I‘m sick of it.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I wanna bob for your apples.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received in the last 10 years.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
Is that a bat in your pocket, or does my costume excite you?
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
I am a mean green machine.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
Did you know there are 206 bones in the human body? Would you mind one more?
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
There’s no trick in these pants.
Why don’t we go somewhere where I can stick a candle in your jack-o-lantern?
I like my girls how I like my Covid.
19 and easily spread.
Dad jokes are like Corona.
Everybody gets It but not everyone can laugh about It.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Turns out my dad who’s a locksmith still has to go to work during lockdown.
He’s a key worker, you see.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
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