I wanna bob for your apples.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Which Pokémon has Covid?
Pik-achoo.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
I went to the chemist today and asked the assistant "what kills the Corona Virus?"
She replied to me "Ammonia Cleaner"
I said "Oh, I am sorry, I thought you worked here."
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
We are 11 days into self-isolation ands it is really upsetting me to witness my wife standing at the living room window gazing aimlessly into space with tears running down her cheeks.
Don’t get me wrong, I empathize with her. I’ve considered letting her in many times, but rules are rules.
What did the Indian boy say to his parent before going into self isolation?
Mumbai.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Woke up with sweats afraid I'd contracted the corona virus...
Changed into jeans and was all good.
I would totally carve your pumpkin.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
I've taken up online yoga since the COVID-19 outbreak started.
It helps me namaste at home.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
Corona Beer sales falter amid Corona virus crisis...
Guess their viral marketing strategy failed.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
Is that a magic wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
With Coronavirus and our impending doom, I guess no one really had 2020 vision after all.
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
Tom Hanks just got the Corona virus.
They had to lock the whole Cast Away.
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