Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
The amount of bad Covid-19 jokes being circulated is starting to reach alarming figures
Some scientists suspect that it might be a pundemic.
I got my COVID-19 vaccine from a "doctor" who approached me in a downtown alley after midnight, offering it for $50 cash.
It was a shot in the dark, but I took it.
John Travolta has been diagnosed with the Corona Virus.
He had chills that were multiplying.
I'm tired of this old broom. Got anything else I can ride?
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
Why are people buying so much toilet paper because of the corona virus?
Because when one person sneezes, 100 people shit themselves.
Me: I'll have a Corona please.
Waiter: *Cough*
Me: Thank you.
What do Saturday and Sunday have in common with the corona virus?
The weakend.
A man walks into a bar and goes up to the bartender and says "I'll have a Corona please, hold the virus."
Nice pumpkins!
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
Even after a decade or two, I think we will all remember this year forever.
I mean, hindsight is 2020.
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
People with 20-20 vision..
Why you didn't warn us before??
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
I know I've never been all that attractive.
But lately every woman I try to approach avoids me like the plague.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
I tried to come up with a joke about social distancing but this is as close as I could get.
Hey, Baby do you want to see what tricks my treat could do?
You know why women's eyes are so noticeable these days?
It's the mask era.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
That mask is becoming on you. If it were me, I’d be coming too.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
Since i have COVID people tell me i enjoy bad music and movies
Guess i have become tasteless.
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
As the local drunk, I'm quite worried about the corona virus.
It's got potential tequila lot of people.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Why did Princess Leia contract coronavirus?
Because she went to woo Han.
Dolly Parton partially funded Moderna's COVID Vaccine.
It comes in two very large dosey-doses.
I really hope corona virus can't spread through s*x
It would be so lonely being the last man on Earth.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
Girl, you make my crotch rise from the dead
You should dress up as a baker for Halloween with that set of buns.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I'm using a bra for a face mask.
I like to keep abreast of corona security measures.
Why did the vampire get a COVID test?
Because he was COFFIN.
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I just asked the wife to get into her nurse's uniform.
She said "Why? Are you feeling horny?"
"No we need bread!"
Due to covid most exotic dancers have been furloughed.
Basically, they’ve been stripped of their source of income.
Flat earthers fear 6 feet social distancing could push some people over the edge.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
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