Listen to them, children of the night. Let’s give them some competition.
I want a taste of your Milky Way.
With all this spare time on their hands people are going to start pursuing their passions. I wouldn't be surprised to sudden explosion in the arts, a renewal in scientific interest, and a mass proliferation of original content.
A coronaissance, if you will.
With Corona Virus spreading, I never thought our deaths will also be..
“Made in China”
What's the difference between Wuhan and Las Vegas?
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
My mom always told me I wouldn't accomplish anything by lying in bed all day.
But look at me now, I'm saving the world.
Hey Baby, wanna find out why they call me Pumpkin-Head?
Are you dressed up as a tree? Cause you’re giving me wood.
Is it true what they say about the size of a man’s canine teeth?
This Corona virus is a blessing
My wife doesn't want to travel anywhere.
She no longer buys anything online, since everything comes from China.
she doesn't go to the mall to avoid the crowds.
she spends all of her time in a mask with her mouth closed.
Best thing that has ever happened to me.
Why is there no COVID cases in Antarctica
Because it’s so ice-o-lated
Hey, my parents are out of town. That means we have the haunted mansion all to ourselves.
I was going to make a joke about losing your senses due to COVID.
But I decided it was poor taste.
What's the difference between butter and the corona virus?
Corona actually spreads.
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn’t realize it would Zoom.
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
The government announced that because of COVID, we can have gatherings of up to 5 people without issues.
Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without issues?
While it’s taking a while for the Corona virus to reach other countries, China got it right off the bat.
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
People with a cold - "I just want to stay in bed and do nothing, I feel terrible."
People with Corona Virus - "I feel terrible, I think I will go skiing in Austria, visit the Eiffel Tower and maybe do some white water rafting in Camino de Santiago."
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Girl, are you the Wuhan Corona Virus?
Because you’re taking my breath away.
Corona virus is just like pasta.
The Chinese invented it but the Italians will spread it all over the world.
I got really good at telling them, so I’m being crowned the king of corona virus puns.
You’re all formally invited to attend my coronation.
Why can't corona virus jokes go viral?
Because people are laughing into their elbows.
With all this talk of Corona Virus, the people who make sanitising gel are rubbing their hands together.
Did you hear the new pop song about Covid?
...it's pretty catchy.
Why did the Chinese communist party try to cover up the outbreak of the corona virus disease?
They were afraid not everyone could get it.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Don't worry, the Corona Virus won't last long... It was made in China.
What movie perfectly describes the corona virus?
No country for old men.
What do Muslims do during the coronavirus outbreak?
They stay in Quran-tine.
They found a plant that cures COVID-19!
It’s called plant yourself on the couch.
My teen daughter was sent home from school for covid exposure.....
She’s now my quaranteen.
Definition of Irony - When the Year Of The Rat starts with a plague.
My daughter told me COVID stinks and she misses her teacher...
I told her "I Ms. your teacher too."
What does a person with Covid like to drink?
Coughy.
Corona crisis reaches new level:
Iran out of toilet paper.
I broke up with my girlfriend after she contracted the corona virus
I’ve decided to wash my hands of her.
I really hope Santa can figure out how to make all his deliveries this year due to Covid-19......
I hear he just ran out of santa-tizer.
Call me a pirate and give me that booty.
You know what they say... Big Feet.
I could tell you a COVID joke...
But it would take two weeks for you to get it.
Corona virus has caused our local supermarket to sell out of pasta.
All because of a fusilli people.
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