“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
"By 35, if I’m not engaged or already starting a family, I declare myself the aunt who’s always traveling & comes to family events tipsy."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you and scorn in the one ahead.”
— Mac McCleary
“Whenever I travel with my 4 young kids I always forget something. Like how stupid it is to travel with 4 young kids.”
– Jim Gaffigan
“I love road trips. You get into this Zen rhythm; throw the sense of time out the window.”
– Miriam Toews
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
"Help me! I'm on a family vacation!"
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"I bought my wife a ticket to go on a cruise. It's no Titanic, but I'm optimistic."
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"The devil himself had probably redesigned hell in the light of information he had gained from observing airport layouts."
- Anthony Price
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
“That’s why I love road trips, dude. It’s like doing something without actually doing anything.”
– John Green
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Everyone’s a little bit crazy and a little bit loud. But everyone’s sharing a generous amount of love."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"People that insist upon drinking and driving, are putting the quart before the hearse."
– Gilbert K. Chesterton
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"How can people my age plan spontaneous trips to Thailand, I can barely afford a spontaneous soft pretzel."