"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist!”
– Russell Baker
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
On Big Ben. “It’s just a big clock? I don’t understand all the hype with this clock. It is literally just a clock. It’s going to be a digital one in thirty years anyway. ”
— Montgomery Smith
“If everything comes your way, you are in the wrong lane.”
"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
"I have been to almost as many places as my luggage."
"There are only two emotions on a plane: boredom and terror."
- Orson Welles
"If anyone is Christmas shopping for me, I wear a size 7-day Caribbean cruise."
"I’m a travel fiend on the road to recovery. Just kidding. I’m headed to the airport."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
“Road Trips: Because they’re cheaper than therapy.”
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
“Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn’t block traffic.”
– Dan Rather
"There are two kinds of travel – first class and with children."
– Robert Benchley
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home."
– Robert Orben
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”
- Douglas Adams
"Family Vacation (n.) A time for you to remember why your family never spends any time together."
“Straight roads are for fast cars, turns are for fast drivers.”
— Colin McRae
“The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it.”
— Dudley Moore
“I’m getting used to wearing flip-flops everywhere. It’s a dangerous place to be. Next thing you know, I’m gonna show to a board meeting in sandals.”
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Driving is a spectacular form of amnesia. Everything is to be discovered, everything to be obliterated."
– Jean Baudrillard
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look like your passport photo."
- Al Gore