“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
“When preparing to travel, lay out all your clothes and all your money. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.”
— Susan Heller
“The mud will wash off but the memories will last a lifetime.”
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
"You call it a pandemonium. We call it a family vacation."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
"I’m getting tired of waking up and not being at the beach."
"Physically I’m here. Mentally I’m in a pool in Bali ordering my third mojito."
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."
– George Burns
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
"People complain that there are delays on flights. Delays, really? New York to California in five hours, that used to take 30 years."
- Louis C.K.
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
“When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.”
– Prince Philip
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager