"What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?"
- George Carlin
"A road trip is a way for the whole family to spend time together and annoy each other in interesting new places."
– Tom Lichtenheld
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“I travel a lot, I hate having my life disrupted by routine.”
– Caskie Stinnett
“To attract men, I wear a perfume called ‘New Car Interior.'”
– Rita Rudner
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“How is it that the first piece of luggage on the airport carousel never belongs to everyone?”
— George Roberts
"I don't run a car, have never run a car. I could say that this is because I have this extremely tender environmentalist conscience, but the fact is I hate driving."
- David Attenborough
“Aerodynamics are for people who can’t build engines.”
– Enzo Ferrari
“I’m taking 4 kids ages 6 and under on a 9-hour road trip. We’ve already had 2 major tantrums. We haven’t even left yet. Avenge my death.”
— James Breakwell
“Because the greatest part of a road trip isn’t arriving at your destination. It’s all the wild stuff that happens along the way.”
– Emma Chase
“How did my driving test go? You could say I mailed it!”
“Driving is boring,” Rabbit pontificates, “but it’s what we do. Most of American life is driving somewhere and then driving back wondering why the hell you went.”
– John Updike
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
"You call it chaos. We call it a family vacation."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
“Babies: cry all flight long. Fall asleep during landing.”
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"Europeans: I drove 40 minutes to spend the weekend in Paris, then popped to Germany to visit family on the way home. Australians: I was in Queensland and drove for 18 hours. Now I’m still in Queensland."
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
“Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?”
– Robin Williams
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
"Yeah, working is great… but have you tried traveling?"
“Flying is hours and hours of boredom sprinkled with a few seconds of sheer terror.”
- Gregory “Pappy” Boyington
"A change of latitude would help my attitude."
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
“Never underestimate the therapeutic power of driving and listening to very loud music.”
“Thanks TSA, I haven’t been touched like that since prom night.”
— Meaghan O’Connell
“I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying!"
“A car’s weakest part is the nut holding the steering wheel.”
"There is no WiFi in the forest but you will find a better connection."
"Like all bad drivers, he thought he was the best driver in the world."
- Rebecca West
“If you can walk away from a landing, it’s a good landing. If you can use the aircraft the next day, it’s an outstanding landing.”
- Chuck Yeager
"It’s bad manners to let vacation wait!"
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
“Yes officer I did see the speed limit sign, I just didn’t see you.”
"Once the travel bug bites there is no known antitode, and I know that I shall be happily infected until the end of my life."
- Michael Palin
“Money may not buy happiness, but I’d rather cry in a Jaguar than on a bus.”
– Francoise Sagan
"There are good ships
and wood ships
and ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships
are friendships
and may they always be."
"Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best."
— Bob Talbert
"I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags."
- Guy Clark
"There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation."