"You know it’s time for a vacation when you start looking like the person on your driving license…"
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”
– George Carlin
“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'.”
― Tommy Cooper
"A bad day at sea is still better than a good day at work."
"I wish I was a postcard. For under a dollar, I could travel to any location in the world."
"If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them and half as much money."
– Abigail Van Buren
“This is the first year I’m not going to Fiji because of COVID-19. Normally, I do not go because I am poor.”
— Brooke Miller
"A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
- John Steinbeck
"Being on vacation with my family has brought me so much closer to my iPad."
"Stop worrying about the potholes in the road and enjoy the journey."
– Babs Hoffman
“When going on a vacation, I wish I could load my wallet with money as much as I can overpack my luggage.”
“I need a vacation so long, I forget all my passwords!”
“Road trips required a couple of things: a well-balanced diet of caffeine, salt, and sugar and an excellent selection of tunes—oh, and directions.”
– Jenn McKinlay
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance."
– Franklin P. Jones
“Roadtripophobia (n.) The fear of not having any road trips currently booked.“
“Nascar would be so much more entertaining if they threw banana peels and turtle shells.”
"I feel like most of my work problems could be solved with a trip to…anywhere."
“Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”
— Albert Einstein
“Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute.”
- Gil Stern
"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."
— Marcelene Cox
“Life is like pocket money. You shouldn't spend it all in one place.”
― Julian Talbot
"Okay, we’re all like 90% happy and 10% sunburnt."
"Ships at a distance have every man’s wish on board."
- Zora Neale Hurston
"Low self-esteem is like driving through life with your hand-brake on."
- Maxwell Maltz
“Venice is like eating an entire box of chocolate liqueurs in one go.”
— Truman Capote
"Love may be the best driving wheel, but anger is a pretty good second."
– Steven Tyler
"I haven’t worn these trousers since I bought them. I should definitely pack them for my 3-day vacation. Just in case."
"There is no unhappiness like the misery of sighting land again after a cheerful, careless voyage."
- Mark Twain
"I love those days when my only decision is whether to go to the beach in the morning or in the afternoon."
“Jet lag is for amateurs.”
— Dick Clark
“I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.”
– Steven Wright
"Driving fast on the track does not scare me. What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he is Fangio."
– Juan Manuel Fangio
“It’s my car now, but as soon as it’s fixed, it’ll be my daughter’s again.”
– Jeff Stahler
“Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers.”
– George Carlin
"I need 6 months of vacation. Twice a year."
"We travel, initially, to lose ourselves, and we travel, next to find ourselves."
- Pico Iyer
"If you think adventure is dangerous try routine, it’s lethal."
– Paulo Coelho
"Backpacking is money spent on education."
“Until you’ve learned to drive, you’ve never really learned how to swear.”
— Robert Paul
"I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I can become immortal."
- Jarod Kintz
“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.”
– Steve Martin
“Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.”
– George Burns
“You’re not truly a parent until you’ve yelled at your kid for drinking fluid on a road trip because now they have to pee again.”
— Abe Yospe
"I want to live in the world where searching for plane tickets burns calories."
"Like gum to a shoe, you’re stuck with me and I’m stuck with you."
"You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive."
“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
– Erma Bombeck
Of all the books in the world, the best stories are found between the pages of a passport.
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
– Dave Barry
"Why do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think things we like to think."
- Robert Henri