How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I'd want to know why the winters are so cold in America. I think Alaska local.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat