What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".