Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
As soon as the plane was invented, things started looking up.
The airline lost my luggage, and so I sued them. Unfortunately, I lost the case.
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Will invisible airplanes ever be a thing?
I just can't see them taking off.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Koi fish always travel in a groups of four
Because the predator will go after the D koi
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
Loving this road trip, but all this driving is tire-ing!
