You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
A photon turns up at check-in for a flight with no baggage. The check-in agent says "Traveling light?". He says "Yes, I am".
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
I think there'll be a ferry-tale ending to this trip.
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
What sound does a bouncy plane make?
Boeing.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
I just flew on a plane with an all female flight crew.
It was an....unmanned aircraft.
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
I was waiting at the airport baggage carousel, and noticed that everyone else had a better bag than me.
It was ....the worst case scenario.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
Took a flight, and my luggage got torn to pieces....
My lawyer said I don't have much of a case.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
The best place to hide something is at an airport
You'd be hiding something in plane site.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.