The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
How do rabbits travel?
On hareplanes!
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
When you cross a plane and a snake, you will end up with a Boeing Constrictor.
I had an instant connection with someone in South Korea. I think they're my Seoul mate.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
The librarian is kicked off the aeroplane because it has already been overbooked.
If you travel to the future and get decapitated
You'd be ahead of your time
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
No one can accuse this trip of being plane.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
One of my friends got lost while touring Tokyo. Turns out it was all Ja-plan.
It's lunchtime and the newcomer at my workplace is on a plane to India
Turns out, someone told him that the nearby Delhi has the best sandwiches
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
What do you call a paper plane that doesn't fly ?
Stationary.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
My grandad was responsible for 28 downed german planes in WW2.
Still to this day, he holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
Initially, the passenger couldn't find where his next flight was, but fortunately, he made the connection in time.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
What travels all over the world, but stays in a corner?
A stamp
I've just arrived in Bulgaria. How is it? Sofia, so good.
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
How do you reply to an email about someone freaking out at the Los Angeles International Airport?
Re:LAX
Long ago, a couple of dudes claimed that human flight was possible.
They were Wright.
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
Sometimes planes go in for maintenance when they have cracks in their bodywork, we call them air-line fractures.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
Flying for long distances is very Boeing at times
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.