Tool Puns

Don't a tool, read funny puns about tools instead!

Tool Puns

I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
What is a popular videogame for young utensils?
Fork Knife.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.