My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
What do you call someone who owns a boat dealership?
A Sailsmen.
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes on the side of their ships?
So when they come back to port they can scandinavian.
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
I wasn't wearing hearing protection when the atom bomb went off.
Now I am become deaf, destroyer of worlds.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
why was the ship called 3.14
because it was full of π-rates.
What do you call a boat in training?
An apprenticeship.
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
What is one way to save money when you go to the lake?
Buy a “sale boat.”
A man struggled to cut up his dinner. His wife asked, “what’s wrong, hunny?” The man sighed, and said:
“This knife just isn’t gonna cut it.”
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
Mike Tyson bought a yacht and immediately wrecked it.
Who woulda thunk it?
You know what really floats my boat?
Surface tension.
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
What do sailors buy to customise the back of their ships?
Aft-ermarket parts!
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
Why don't they make boats out of peppers?
Because they're always capsaicin!
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution.
What do you call a Monkey with a bomb
A baboom.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
I got fired from the bomb disposal squad
Too bad, I had a blast working there.
My boat is starting to sink, I'm going to sell it.
See my boat listing in the paper.
I can row a boat.
Canoe?
I decided to switch to a knife to preserve my ammo.
The guys at Laser Tag started freaking out though.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
Who has the best place on a sailing ship?
The mast, because it has the pole-position.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
