Why are big boats called "Yachts"?
Because they cost "Yachts of money".
I love driving my car, makes me feel like I'm charge of a big boat
especially when it's on cruise control
What kind of melody does a ship makes when if it crashes on shore?
A wreck-quiem.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
Red ship hits Blue ship...
Sailors marooned.
I saw a headline in the newspaper that said someone made a bomb out of nitrous oxide.
This is no laughing matter.
Why don't boats have funerals?
They have wakes.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
Help!!! There's nobody steering this yacht!!
Don't worry. It's on yachtopilot.
When the first nuclear bomb was detonated all the neutrons were sad.
Because their parents had just split.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
Those soldiers thought they could blow up that submarine with their bomb...
but they needed to sea mine.
How did they punish the longshoreman whose improper ship mooring caused the destruction of a pier?
They docked his pay.
Why do all the boats in Scandinavia have barcodes on the sides of them?
It makes it easier to... scan da navy in.
The bartender asked the pirate, "Is that a ship's wheel sticking out of your pants?"
The pirate replied"Aye! It's driving me nuts!"
Did you hear about the boat dock that committed murder?
He’s going to be judged by a jury of its piers.
The knife that Abraham used to kill Isaac has been found in Britain.
Apparently, it was a Dyson.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
What do you call a big boat full of fish
A carp ark.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
Have you ever been on a party boat?
It’s a Yacht of fun.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
I like to tell this one joke about homemade bombs
But it always blows up in my face.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
I was surprised when I saw a boat in the driveway so I asked my wife about it.
She said there was a great sail.
What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
What do you do when you're in a knife fight with a group of clowns?
Go for the juggler.
Before my surgery my anaesthetist offered to knock me out with gas or a boat paddle.
It was an ether/oar situation.
What do you call a skeleton with a mask and a knife? A heartless killer.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
Why are snails allowed on ships?
Escargot.
What do you call a boat full of high school graduates
A scholarship.
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
Watched a TV show about how they build ships.
It was riveting.
What happened when Napoleon got killed with a bomb?
Napoleon Blownapart.
If you ever have to defuse a bomb, never cut...
The Blew wire.
I took my boat out to go fishing today. I looked over and saw my neighbor’s dock was parallel to mine.
I guess I found my self in a real “para-docks”
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
Last Thanksgiving, I cut my hand with the carving knife so my idiot brother-in-law grabs my bloody wound and starts twisting it. I screamed, “Ouch! What are you doing!!”
He said, “I’m applying a turn-a-cut.”
Have you heard about the guy who made a bomb out of a brain?
It was pretty mindblowing.
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
My friend is trying to persuade me to invest in his knife making business.
He made some excellent points.
I knew a guy in jail who would never knife a man in the back or when he was down
He was the very model of shivalry.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
