My farts don’t smell, they don’t have noses.
I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure
My wife is mad at me because I took a dump on the roof...
How can I wipe the slate clean?
If you poop in your sleep...
You have sleep crapnea.
I just installed a brand new Luxe bidet!
I’ve been having a blast.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
Where do cow farts come from?
The dairy air.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
How would you call a tutle's poo?
Turdle.
I was in the toilet for so long, I finally said to myself...
I'm getting too old for this s**t.
Have you heard Mariah Kleenex's big holiday single?
It's called "I Don't Want a Snot for Christmas"
I’ve been going through a lot of sh** lately
I hate my job as a plumber.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
How does a monster flush the toilet?
It doesn't, it scares the living sh** out of it.
Dung beetle walks into a bar....
"Is this stool taken?"