Have you ever heard of the book "They Yellow River"?
It was written by I.P. Daily.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
What do you call related toilet rolls that sleep together?
Napkins.
When your poo goes into the sewers, it's not yours anymore.
It becomes pooblic domain.
Why can't you hear a psychiatrist when they go to the bathroom?
Because the P is silent.
Dung Beetles know how to keep their sh** together.
My husband won't let the kids take toys with them when they go potty, but I do.
It is a toy-let, after all.
A dung beetle spent an entire day rolling a ball of dung up a hill, only to have it fall down to the other side...
Needless to say, he lost his sh*t.
Went to the toilet earlier and took a poo...
Not sure whose it was, but it's mine now.
Why could the toilet paper not stop?
Because it was on a role.
I saw a show where all the man did was sit on the toilet.
It was a s**tshow.
I made a bridge out of Kleenex.
I have truss tissues.
What do you call it when a janitor is fired for refusing to unclog the restroom toilets?
Dereliction of doodie.
Why shouldn’t you fart on elevators?
It’s wrong on so many levels.
My girlfriend left me while I was crying in the bathroom with constipation. She told me that I was so full of it.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper!
It was a pain in the a**
What kind of degree can you get at a urinal?
A Pee h.D.
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
What do you call a disabled paper towel?
A napkan't.
I asked the kids to pickup the dog poo out the back
They did a crap job.
Did you hear about the new book called "100 Miles to the Next Restroom"?
It's by Will E. Mayket and Betty Wunt.
What did pharaohs use to wipe?
Poo-pyrus.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush ...
Safe to say I have pipe dreams!
My family and I like to sleep during the day.
They are my napkin.
I always hate having to unblock the toilet.
I’m never quite ready to take the plunge.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Was talking to a record producer at the urinals the other day...
Next thing you know I had a number one on my hands.
If you don't use a bidet...
You're doing a half-a*sed job.
How does a napkin sneeze?
Tissue.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
I was at the doctor, complaining about constipation. The doc seemed upset with me. He said,
"You don't give a s**t, do you?"
What did the old urinal cake say to the new one?
"Oh boy, first day? Urine for a treat."
What type of toilet paper does the math house have?
Multiply.
They don’t maintain the outhouses at our campground anymore...
They’re real sh** holes.
A police officer was fired shortly after leaving the bathroom.
He was upset about being fired, but happy to be relieved of doody.
I used my credit card to buy 1-ply toilet paper.
And now I'm paying for it.
What do you call a toilet perched on top of an active volcano?
The lavatory.
My toilet just turned one today.
It was her bidet.
What kind of doctor checks ghost poo?
A ghost-roenterologist.
What do you call a man who lives in a bathroom?
Lou.
My youngest needed a diaper change, so my wife called down from upstairs, "Can you throw up some wipes?"
"I'm not sure," I replied. "I haven't eaten any."
It wasn’t my idea to get bidet...
But now I kinda like the little squirt.
I was sick and tired of the kids leaving their business in the toilet, so I yelled at them.
They immediately flushed with embarrassment.
I thought I broke my leg when I tripped over a box of Kleenex last night
But the doctor said it's only tissue damage.
What do you call someone who acts like a piece of fish poop?
A bassturd.
Today I learned some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet.
That must be a sh***y phobia to have.
Why was the dung beetle mad at the store clerk?
Because the clerk sold him shampoo.
What do you call a person who starts their own cow poop business?
An entre-manure.
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
what's the best day of the week to poop?
saTURDay.