Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
A few punny Wifi names you can use:
Wi-Fight the Inevitable
Chance the Router
The LAN Before Time
Silence of the LAN
I Believe Wi Can Fi
The Password is...
Click Here to Download
Get off my LAN
Router? I Hardly Knew Her
Definitely Not Wifi
What is a phone's favorite TV show? Game of Phones.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
A no-key-a.
The FBI are raiding an alleged spy's apartment when they discover a hard drive labeled "KGB".
One of the agents holds it up with a look of confusion and says, "Why wouldn't he just write 1 TB?"
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
I couldn't stop laughing when my father warned my brother, saying, "If you hack my Microsoft Office, I will find you, you have my Word".
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
Cell phones are a static symbol.
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
I did it! Dad said to save my money til my balance looks like a phone number.....
Available balance: $9.11.
When my father complained to my mother for never picking or dropping me at school, she looked at him and said, "You are the master of drag and drop, my love". He's an IT specialist...
What is a tiny cell phone called? A microphone.
Got fired from my job at the keyboard factory. I couldn't keep the space clean.
What did the thrifty man say when he got his phone bill? "Who says talk is cheap?"
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
Where are dramatic hard drives from?
Oh I/O
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
So, if I heat my solid state hard drive until it becomes a gaseous state hard drive
Would that mean I'm doing cloud computing?
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I asked the bartender for the WiFi password but he told me to buy a drink first. So I ordered a Moscow Mule and asked him again. He handed me a card with the password. It said:
"Buy a drink first" ... no spaces, all lowercase."
The oldest computer was an apple given to Adam and Eve back in paradise lost, but it came with very limited memory of just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
Where do the keys on a keyboard go to have a good time
The spacebar.
Apple is announcing a new cell phone for children.
iKid you not.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Why do cats like computers the best?
Cuz they have a mouse.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Why do computers make such bad boxers?
Their bark is worse than their byte.