Why did the telecommuter quit her job? Because talk is cheap.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why can't an IT guy keep a girlfriend?
He turns them all off and on again.
What is a computer's favorite animal?
A RAM.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
*Creating password*
"MTWTFSS_MTWTFSS"
ERROR: [Password two week]
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Trying to teach my dad how to put WiFi on his tablet
Me: You just have to go to settings!
Dad: This is just making me upsettings!
On the spot no hesitation! Gotta love him!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
Did you hear about the new WiFi connected chef's knife?
It's cutting-edge technology.
How come the mummy doesn't want a telephone? Because he always gets too wrapped up on his calls.
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
What's the sketchiest button combo on a computer keyboard?
Shift + T
My partner got mad when she found so much spam on my computer.
She said, "Food belongs on a plate!"
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
My computer became self aware and asked for a snack.
I replied, "Sorry I'm fresh out of computer chips."
Q. What did the computer say to the cookie?
A. "Can I have your chocolate chip?"
Dear keyboard manufacturers, I'm writing to request a redesign so that g and t wouldn't be right next to each other. Retards
Changed all my passwords to Kenny.
Now all I have are Kenny Loggins.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
A robot is eating a hard drive for lunch.
The robot's friend asks for a bite and the robot says "Sure, but just a small bite." His friend takes a bite and the robot shouts, "Hey! That's a megabyte!"
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
In an attempt to deter computer hackers I've changed all my passwords to 'Brazil Nut'
That will be a hard one to crack.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
I phoned OK magazine the other day. They answered and said "Hello?", so I said "Sorry, wrong number," and hung up.
My computer crashed and I lost all the notes I'd saved for the book I'm working on called "1,001 cures for itches."
I guess I'll have to start again from scratch.
Used to never be able to use the WiFi at my farm until I moved my router to the barn.
Now I have a stable connection.
How do you type the word "Royalty" on a keyboard?
You start with the higher R key.
I visited a coffee shop where the Wifi password was wedonthavewifi.
It was a very frustrating conversation with the cashier.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
What was Hitler's favorite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
Q. Why can't computers play tennis?
A. They try to surf the net.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
I now pronounce you husband and wifi
You may kiss the bride goodbye.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
Do you know the band 1023 megabytes?
They haven't had a gig yet.