My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Why did the computer parts salesman quit?
He lost his drive.
My Wifi password is "writtenontherouter"
And I let all my guests walk to the router and let them unsuccessfully try to use the initial password until I tell them it's literally "writtenontherouter".
Ever hear about the computer programmer who moved to Mexico?
He wanted to be a Señor developer.
I almost got in trouble because I tried to talk to someone in the same room as me over the phone...
...It was a close call.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
A friend of mine has a mobile phone shaped like an Italian dumpling. It's a gnocchia.
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
I was dating a keyboard but we had to break up...
...she just wasn't my type.
Someone vandalized my keyboard leaving only 1 button.
Surprisingly, the police were more thorough in the investigation than I expected. They even asked to see my colon.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
My doctor must think I have a bad hard drive
He said he needed to C:
Why was the old computer sad?
Because it had a floppy disk.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
While I was driving, I saw another person driving while talking on his cell phone.
I got so mad, I threw my beer at him.
What type of blood does a keyboard have?
Typo.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
I always love pressing F5 on my keyboard.
It's so refreshing.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
I left my phone under my pillow last night and woke up to coins underneath it. It must have been the Blue-tooth fairy.
What do you call a gushing keyboard?
sqwerty
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
Free Wifi!
Why? Was Mr. Wifi wrongfully accused or something?
My mobile phone has a tuneless ring tone. It's chordless.
Why is the 7 key on the keyboard so afraid?
Because the & is near
Computers cannot make good boxers because their bark is worse than their byte.
My wife asked: "What's our WiFi?"
I said: It's an internet connection that works wirelessly through something called a modem. Why?"
She hasn't spoken to me all week.
"Dad, my computer can't find the Wifi printer anymore... I renamed it to Bob Marley, same password."
"Why Bob Marley?" - he asked.
"Because its always jammin"
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
I was testing the speaker phone on the intercom on our landline with my father yesterday.
It started to make that annoying noise. My old man said it was too close to call.
People need to be careful about computers at all times because they byte.
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Apparently Dracula sets up a password for every website so he can click on Your Account.
I got a new cell phone for my wife...
Pretty awesome trade if you ask me!
Mobile phones have been around longer than people think.
I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.
If they could prove cell phones give deadly radiation
You could say to people you don't like "cant talk right now, you're giving me cancer".
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
I hate it when planes don't have free WiFi.
It drives me bored air line crazy.
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
My mom told me that sitting on a computer 8 hours a day in unhealthy
I said: But, mom that's why I am using a chair.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
Why can't elephants use computers?
Because they're scared of the mouse.
My brother, who is an IT guy, got surgery done on his fingers. Now he can truly be called a tech-knuckle support guy.
I'm really obsessed with the F1 key on my keyboard. I'm trying to get help.