My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why don't birds make cell phone calls? They might accidentally wing the wrong number.
I asked the librarian for the new book on erectile dysfunction.
She typed on her keyboard and said "It's not coming up!"
I said "Yeah, that's the one!!"
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
What is it called when an IT person gets surgery on their fingers?
Tech knuckle support.
IF YOU GUYS SEE A LINK ON FACEBOOK THAT SAYS "GET A MILLION DOLLARS FOR FREE" DON'T CLICK ON IT.
IT IS A VIRUS THAT PUTS YOUR PHONE'S KEYBOARD ON CAPS LOCK.
I wasn't making enough money as a keyboard percussionist so I started moonlighting as gun salesperson.
I go from glockenspiel to Glock and spiel.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...?
Stereotyping.
I took all the punctuation marks off of the judge's keyboard.
I expect a long sentence.
I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues."
Boss: Hard drive?
Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.
My wireless keyboard isn't working
I guess I need to re-pair it.
What do hackers do on a boat?
Phishing.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
I wanted to do some research on organs in biology, but I had no WiFi and couldn't find the information I wanted.
I wound up using cellular.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
What do you call a solar powered keyboard?
A photosynthesiser
If cheese were downloadable, then I'd try to throw my hard drive as far as possible.
What I'm saying is, I'd chuck e-cheese.
What do you do if you spill maple syrup all over your keyboard?
Just turn off sticky keys.
The shark and the computer are so alike. They both have and use their megabytes.
My dog ate my computer science homework.
It took him a couple of bytes.
I like to write jokes down and store them on my phone, so that I can tell them to him later.
I call it my Dad-abase.
What do a phone and an engaged girl have in common? They both have rings.
My computer is so slow it's running in the '90s.
I dropped my computer on my foot.
It mega-hurts.
Two days ago, I named my Wifi to "Hack it if you can".
Yesterday it was changed to "Challenge accepted".
How did Sam win the talent show? Sam-sung.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
What do you call a fake Nokia? A phone-y of course.
How come an owl turns his cell phone off at night? So he doesn't get any hooty calls.
Why did Karen press Ctrl-Shift-Esc on her keyboard?
Because she wanted to speak to the Task Manager!
I created a presentation on my computer but didn't use password protection...
Now it has visual aids.
Does your computer constantly and annoyingly have tons of updates to install?
Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can't rush the progress.
Chrome wasn't built in a day.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
Did you hear about the keyboard that lost it's Period Key?
He was missing the point.
Why was the computer sad?
It was going un-node-iced.
A router and a modem got married.
They were pronounced husbandwidth and Wifi.
Today I Learned I should NOT have my password be the name of my cat.
I then turned to my cat and said, "Well, wJ:cg/v&A;6BTt, I guess it's back to the drawing board."
How big is a clown's hard drive?
50 GiggleBytes
I for one
is something you might do if you had a broken keyboard
I hate hard drives...
...they byte
Where do all the cool mice live? In their mousepads.
My husband asked me to sync his phone. So I threw it in the sea - not sure why he is upset.
So I was in the library when this cute girl came up and asked to borrow my external hard drive
It was at this point I realized she wanted the (D:)
What did the baby computer call its father?
Data.
Asked the librarian rather loudly for the wifi password. He said "Sshhhhhh!" I asked "is that all lower case?"
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.