How can someone tell if a bee is on their phone? They'll get a buzzy signal.
What made the computer so smart?
Because he listened to his motherboard!
My dad enjoys writing jokes and storing them on my phone. He calls it his Dad-a-base.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
I'm not like other keyboards...
I'm qwerty
What do you call a computer that plays tennis?
A server
What is the favorite snack of a programmer, it's undoubtedly Cadbury bytes.
You know you're texting too much when...
you try to text, but you're on a landline!
My keyboard fell apart today.
I feel like I'm losing Ctrl of everything.
Q. What's a computer geek's favourite snack?
A. Microchips.
Autocorrect has become my worst enema.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
What do you call a program that uses every possible combination to crack a password?
A battering R.A.M.
What's one of the worst things you could come across while surfing the web?
Your keyboard.
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
They just ransomware.
What happened to the girl's phone when she was getting a perm done? She got a frizzy signal.
What's the tastiest part of a floppy disk?
The cookie!
Which keyboard shortcut doesn't work if you're incontinent?
Ctrl-P
What key on the keyboard is truly out of this world?
The spacebar.
Why didn't the cell phone wear his glasses? He lost his contacts.
I was at a funeral & asked the priest for the WiFi password
"Have some respect for the dead!" he said
I replied "Is that all lower case?"
Just received Areal Flood Advisory notification on my phone
I should hope it's a real one, the fake ones are just annoying.
I had no one to help me when my computer and phone mutinied
I was left to my own devices.
I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape.
I should get a new keyboard.
Why did the telecommuter lose his job? He had to many hang ups.
Why did the computer leave the restroom crying?
It said, "it hurts when IP."
My lifeguard friend had come back home and wanted to do some work, so I gave him my computer to use. Now I have a screen-saver at my house.
I want to tell you one more painful phone pun but I decided it's uncalled for.
Why do microwaves always mess up WiFi...
...when every one I've tried creates hotspots?
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road?
To get to the other slide.
It doesn't matter if my wife tells me Im not mature
Im not going to let her enter my tree house without the right password.
I fell asleep on my phone the other day. It downloaded a nap.
Cell phones are a static symbol.
How do trees get on a computer?
They just log in.
What do you call a bald spot on a cell phone salesperson?
A gap in coverage.
Did you hear about the Wi-Fi wedding?
The ceremony was awful, but the reception was great!
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
Interesting that illegally copying on computers is known as piracy.
I suppose you CTRL C
I introduced my mouse to my keyboard today...
It was awkward at first, but then they just clicked.
Dancing Queen used to have a lot of profanity in its lyrics, but after computers became common
No-one needed an ABBA cuss
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Why was the computer coughing?
It had a virus.
What happens when you turn on a computer?
You turn it's floppy disk into a hard disk.
An American guy visits a friend in Scotland.
When he arrives at his friend's house, he asks "Can I use your Wifi?"
The friend looks a bit perplexed, but then he smiles and says, "Sure ye can, she's up th' stairs."
Why do you need a password to make a camp fire?
So you can log in.
Computers can be very good at golf because of their hard drives.
I didn't know WiFi stood for Wireless Fidelity.
I guess I just didn't get the connection.
Are you WiFi?
Because I can feel the connection between us.
Why can't you use beef stew as a password?
Because it's not stroganoff.