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Working Jokes

Roofers In a Fix
Two Roofers, Bob and Dan, were putting a new roof on a barn when a bundle of shingles slid down the slope and knocked the ladder over. Bob and Dan decided that, since it was early, they would continue working because someone would surely come around by quitting time. It was nearing 5 PM and they hadn't seen hide nor hair of anyone. So, they walked around the roof a few times and finally decided there was only one way down. On the West side of the barn was a big manure pile. Bob says, "It's the only way down. I will go first." Bob jumped. Dan heard the squishy landing and yelled, "Hey Bob! How deep did you go?" Bob yells back, "I went to my ankles Dan, come on JUMP!" Dan jumps... and sinks clear up to his neck in manure! "I thought when you jumped you went up to your ankles?" He shouts at his friend. "I did..." Explained Bob, "but I landed head first!"
Tableware Puns
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
Funny Work Quotes
“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
“Hear no evil, see no evil, and speak no evil—and you’ll never get a job working for a tabloid.” – Phil Pastoreta consultant.” – Scott Adams
"The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.” — Robert Frost
“It is better to have one person working with you than three people working for you.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Hey baby, I just found out our shirts were manufactured in unfair working conditions; let's take them off.
Frankenstein Puns
People keep asking me why I’m working for Dr. Frankenstein.
I’m just trying to make a living.
Funny Health Quotes
"Doctors are always working to preserve our health and cooks to destroy it, but the latter are the more often successful." - Denis Diderot
Yard Puns
You’ve been working too yard.
Spotify Pick Up Lines
Is your Spotify working? Because I would love you to join my family plan.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
- Hey, graduate student Minotaur, what are you up to today?
- Not much, just working on my Theseus.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
Garden Puns
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
Meat Puns
What did the boss pig say to the pig worker for not working fast enough? “chop chop slow pork”.
You might be startled to see a hamburger working out in your local gym. Don’t worry, they’re just there because they want better buns.