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Wooden Jokes

Parrot Puns
I can’t decide how to finish this wooden sign telling my parrot that she’s become a member of the Scottish aristocracy
Polyurethane?
Utensils Puns
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Tree Puns
What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
Why are dogwood trees amazing pets? They have a great bark and a wooden bite.
Hockey Puns
If the wooden face mask was popularized by Jacques Plante, was the wooden
cup made popular by Jock Plank?
Toilet Puns
I found a wooden shoe in my toilet today.
It was clogged.
Food Quotes
"Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners!"
— Roald Dahl
Hard Drive Puns
Why are wooden hard drives so bad?
They're all bark and no byte.
Anti Jokes
What do you call a cop with a wooden leg?
Officer.
Table Puns
My wife chose a new dining table with a metal frame instead of a wooden one
I complimented her on picking an unteak.
Furniture Puns
There's a group of guys that assemble wooden furniture for fun.
I hope they let me join.
Leg Puns
I used to be engaged to a girl with a wooden leg.
But I broke it off.
One Liners for Kids
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and wooden engine? it wooden go!