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Weekend Jokes

Mother Puns
Since it's Mothers Day weekend, I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a BIG SMILE on her face this morning...
Now I can't have Sharpies in the house anymore.
Garden Puns
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Knight Puns
The knight fell very sick over the weekend. He had a running temperature and was feeling very nauseous. The doctor called it the Saturday Knight Fever.
Irish Puns
This weekend, I will watch a new Irish movie based on a marathon runner who only ate potatoes. It is called Starch Trek.
Funny Break Up Lines
Hey babe, how about I plan a romantic weekend get away, and while I’m gone you can pack your shit and GTFO?
Corona Virus Jokes
I’m throwing a COVID-19 party this weekend.
None of you are invited.
Medieval Puns
I went to a dad-joke competition at Medieval Times last weekend..
They called it the Game of Groans.
Movie Pick Up Lines
Here's to a big opening weekend.
Gorilla Puns
Q. Where do lady gorillas go for a wild weekend night out?
A. Chimpendale's.
Mermaid Puns
Ariel spent the weekend alone because she was feeling a little crabby.
Flamingo Puns
What is a flamingo's favorite thing to do at the weekend? Play fla-bingo.
Monster Puns
Afraid he wouldn’t get into college the skeleton spent the weekend boning up on algebra.
Weather Puns
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Had a great weekend. Won the annual weather forecaster's championships!
I beat the raining champion.
Beaver Puns
Knock Knock!

Who is there?

Water.

Water who?

Water your plans for the weekend, Mr Beaver?