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Taught Jokes

Father Puns
My father always taught me to be prepared for any emergency. I was on the ball when the streets flooded...
I was ready and wading!
Corona Virus Jokes
What quarantine really taught me?
That you don't really need fun to have alcohol.
Christmas Puns
Reindeer don't go to school—they're elf taught.
Trumpet Puns
I taught a dog to play the trumpet on the London Underground.
We went from Barking to Tooting in 20 minutes!
Funny Limericks
There once was a vicar at Kew
Who kept his pet cat in a pew.
He taught it to speak
alphabetical Greek,
but it never got farther than µ.
A tutor who taught on the flute,
tried to teach two young tooters to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
"Is it harder to toot or,
to tutor two tooters to toot?"
My ambition, said old Mr. King,
Is to live as a bird on the wing.
Then he climbed up a steeple,
Which scared all the people,
So they caged him and taught him to sing.
I once fell in love with a blonde,
But found that she wasn't so fond.
Of my pet turtle named Odle,
whom I'd taught how to Yodel,
So she dumped him outside in the pond.
Peach Puns
The kindergarten kids were taught the alphabet and peach sounds at school.
The fruit teacher taught figures of peach in today's class.
Onion Puns
In the history class, the onion teachers taught the student onions that during the vegetable cold war, the Soviet Onion was a superpower.
What Did You Do on Earth?
Three people die; a doctor, school teacher, and the head of a large insurance company. When met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the doctor, "what did you do on Earth?" The doctor replied, "I healed the sick and if they could not pay I would do it for free." St. Peter told the Doctor, "You may go in." St. Peter then asked the teacher what she did, she replied, "I taught educationally challenged children." St. Peter then told her "You may go in." St. Peter asked the third man, "What did you do?" The man raised his head and replied, "I ran a large insurance company." "You may go in..." said St. Peter. The man happily walks forward when St. Peter adds: "for 3 days."
History Puns
In history class, the teacher taught said the Magna Carta was signed in 1215 and to write an essay on it. A student handed in his work with "The Magna Carta was signed in 1215" written 150 times.
The teacher asked the boy, "Why did you write this?" The boy replied, "Because you always say that history repeats itself!"
One fundamental lesson our teacher has taught us in History class while talking about the Civil War was never to take victory for Grant-ed.
Hair Puns
My mother-in-law never taught my wife to shave her legs without getting cut.
She didn’t razor right.
Deer Puns
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!