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Spanish Jokes

What Do You WANT?
A man from Peru decided to visit America, although he spoke no English. Upon reaching it, one of the first thing he did was go into a department store. He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him. "Quiero calcetines, (I want socks)" said the man. "I don't speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here," said the salesgirl. "No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want suits, I want socks.)" said the man. "Well, these shirts are on sale this week," declared the salesgirl. "No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines, (No I don't want shirts, I want socks.)" repeated the man. "I still don't know what you're trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack," offered the salesgirl. "No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,(No I don't want pants, I want socks)" insisted the man. As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, "Eso sí que es (Now that's it)!" "Then why didn't you just spell it in the first place?!?" yelled the salesgirl.
River Puns
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
Pig Puns
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Monster Puns
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
Spain Puns
So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.
He said "Si."
My friend learned Spanish by jotting sentences repeatedly...
He used wrote learning.
Did you hear about the famous Spanish streaker?
Senor Willy.
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
“Is this the Spanish word for ‘nap’?” She asked, pointing to a word on the page.
“Si, está.”
What did the Spanish fireman call his two sons?
José and Hose-B.
What do you call four Spanish guys in a capsized boat?
Quatro sinko.
What do Spanish phantoms say when they like something?
me ghosta.
Viking Puns
My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris just put up a new sign outside his house...
It says 'Welcome, Spanish Inquisition!'
Crow Puns
What do you call a Spanish pig?
Porque.
Onion Puns
There was a bull in the neighborhood who would always vandalize my farm. Guess it was because I harvested Spanish onions.
The Rabbi, the Horse and the Hat
On a very windy day, a rabbi was walking along when a strong gust of wind blew his hat off his head. The rabbi ran after the hat, but the wind was too strong. It kept blowing his hat farther and farther away. A non-Jewish young man, seeing what had happened, ran after the hat, caught it and gave it back to the rabbi. The rabbi was so grateful that he gave the young man 20 dollars and blessed him. The young man was so excited that he decided to go the race track and with the rabbi's blessing, he decided to check the program and place the entire 20 dollars on a horse. After the races he went home and recounted his very exciting day to his father. "I arrived at the fifth race and looked at the program. I saw this horse named 'Top Hat' was running. The odds on this horse were 100 to 1 but since I received the rabbi's blessing I bet the entire 20 dollars on 'Top Hat' and guess what? He won!" "In the next race, there was a horse named 'Bowler' at 30 to 1 so I bet the entire amount of my winnings on him, and guess what ... I won again!" "So did you bring the money home?" asked his father. "No," said the son, "I lost it all on the last race. There was a horse named 'Chateau' that was a heavy favorite so I bet everything on him, and since 'Chateau' means 'hat' in French I figured he was a sure thing." "You fool!" said the father. "Hat in French is 'chapeau' not 'chateau!'" Sighing to himself, the father then asked, "So who did win the race?" "A real long shot," said the son. "Some Spanish horse named 'Sombrero'."