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Seven Jokes

Funny Haiku
In case of not being,
able to count up to seven,
you can use your fingers.
I think haikus suck.
Has to be five seven five.
Who came up with this?
Theater Puns
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Crow Puns
I stole seven crows yesterday.
Got away with murder.
Pun Puns
I've already heard seven cancer puns today.
If I hear tumor it's gonna benign.
Peach Puns
The big play is in seven days, you better work on your peach enhancement techniques.
One Liners and Short Jokes
I once asked my grandfather how he'd lived so long
He smiled and said; "I sprinkle a little gunpowder on my cereal every morning."

I always thought that was a little weird but he did live a long life and left a great legacy; a thriving career, loving wife, seven children, sixteen grandchildren, two great-grandchildren, and a massive hole in the crematorium wall.
A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have?
Schizophrenia
Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?"

Little Johnny: "Big hands!"
Funny Parenting Quotes
“I’ve got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: “Hello, goodbye, and I’m pregnant”.

- Dean Martin.
Password Puns
I got a asked to leave karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" seven times in a row. I had exceeded the allowed number of Loggins attempts.
The computer said my password needed at least eight characters and at least one number, so I changed it to Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage is a difficult project. When seven years have passed and all your body’s cells have been replaced, you’re meant to experience that seven-year itch.”

—Yoko Ono
Gnome Puns
Six out of seven dwarfs aren’t Happy.
Little Johnny Counts to 10
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
Writing Puns
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.