Ronald Jokes

“The taxpayer—that’s someone who works for the federal government but doesn’t have to take the civil service examination.” — Ronald Reagan.
The Daughter's Confession
Mandy asks her mother for a few minutes to have a serious conversation. Concerned for her college-age daughter, Nina stops what she's doing and makes them coffee. They sit for a few minutes, with Mandy looking nervous. "What is it, sweetie?" her mother asks. "You know you can tell me anything." Mandy manages a sickly smile. "Well, you may judge me for this.. and PLEASE don't tell dad!" "What IS IT?" Her mother demands. "Do you know the neighbor, Jeremy, who I study with?" "Yes..." says her mother cautiously. "And you know his dad, Ronald?" "Ah ha..." her mother looks more concerned every second. "I think I'm in love with him!" Mandy blurts it out. Her mother is shocked. "I won't allow it!" "Mom, you can't tell me who to love!" "He could be your father!" shouts Nina. "I don't care about the age difference!" the daughter shoots back. Her mother sighs. "I think you misunderstood me."
How can you tell that it’s Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?
Because he has sesame seed buns.
“I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself." ~ Ronald Reagan
I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the U.S. Congress. -- Ronald Reagan
"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jelly beans."
— Ronald Reagan