Real Jokes

“You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.”
– Laurence J. Peter
"If you can survive 11 days in cramped quarters with a friend and come out laughing, your friendship is the real deal."
— Oprah Winfrey
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.”
— Sicilian Proverb
“A messy house is a must—it separates your true friends from other friends. Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
— Jennifer Wilson
“You find out who your real friends are when you’re involved in a scandal.”
— Elizabeth Taylor
Want to see the real coming attraction?
Mr. Pea never did any work and yet always looked down on the other vegetables. He was a real peas of work.
You'd think seeing a mermaid in real life would be terrifying, but it wasn't half as bad.
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
My real costume is at home in a box under my bed.
Son: Hey dad, I stole a peach from the grocery store today.
Dad: Why?
Son: I don’t know, but I feel guilty. It’s a real pit in my stomach.
Were you born in 1789? Because you’re a real classical beauty
Hmm, there seems to be a kiss of mint in this blend. How about a real kiss, just to be sure?
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.