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Potato Jokes

Food Poems
How to spell the potato has tried
Many minds, sometimes mine, I’ll confide.
Though it may have an eye,
There’s no E – don’t ask why!
Not until it’s been baked, boiled or fried.
A potato chip is something
Never ceasing to amuse.
I love it's funny wrinkles
And the crunchy way it chews.

(Anthony Gallagher)
Onion Puns
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
Peach Puns
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
Pig Puns
What’s the difference between hot potato and a flying pig? One’s a heated yam, and the other is a yeeted ham.
Food Quotes
“Being a couch potato is dangerous, someone may get hungry and eat you!”
― Unknown
Irish Puns
Did you hear about the Irish potato that immigrated?
He became a French fry.
Phone Puns
Why does Mr. Potato need a cell phone? Incase Mr. Onion Rings.
Ancient Greek Monster Puns
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
TV Puns
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
Kangaroo Puns
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
What do you call a lazy baby kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Mushroom Puns
What are the best mushrooms to have with a jacket potato? Button mushrooms!
Garden Puns
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
The Old Man and the Potato
A young man moved to the beach area and is trying to meet women, but isn't having much luck. One day, the young guy is walking down the beach, and he passes an old guy, who is completely surrounded by young beautiful women in bikinis vying for his attention. The young guy scratches his head and keeps walking, but can't understand how that old guy is meeting so many women... The next day, he takes a stroll on the beach again, and passes the same guy, who once again has many attractive young women with him. The next time he walks down the beach, he sees the old guy again, and he still has hot young women all around him. Finally, he decides that he has to know the old guy's secret, so he pulls the guy aside and asks, "How do you do it? How do you always attract so many hot young women?" The old guy responds, "Tomorrow, when you head out to the beach, slip a potato inside your bathing suit!" So the next day, the young guy slides a potato into his bathing suit and heads out for his daily beach walk. But today, all the women are actually moving farther and farther away from him! He finds the old guy again and says, "Hey, what's going on? I followed your advice, I put a potato in my bathing suit, and the women are practically running away from me!" The old guy sighs and says: "Try again tomorrow, but this time, put the potato in the front!"
Adam and the Witch
A man named Adam walked along a forest trail, when suddenly he was stopped by an evil looking crone, who calls herself a witch. The witch screeches at him: "Tell me I am pretty or you will be cursed!" Adam: "Sorry, but I don't find you attractive." Witch: "Take that back, or you most surely will be cursed!" Adam: "Nope. You're hideous." The witch then transformed him into an ant. Witch: "Look where your rudeness brought you! " Adam: "Yeah this sucks, but you still look like a moldy potato." Witch: "Very well, then. You will remain in this form until you repent and call me pretty!" He is still adamant.