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Pockets Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
"Before we got married I caught her in my arms. Now I catch her in my pockets." - Joginder Singh
Squirrel Puns
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
Romantic Pick Up Lines
Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my heart.
Mouth Puns
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
Funny Limericks
Is it me or the nature of money,
That's odd and particularly funny.
But when I have dough,
It goes quickly, you know,
And seeps out of my pockets like honey.
Kangaroo Puns
I went drinking with a bunch of kangaroos last night and they didn't buy me one drink all evening..
Talk about short arms long pockets...
Kangaroo: [dials 9-1-1] I can’t find my kids!
9-1-1: Did you check your pockets?
Kangaroo: [pats pouch] Oh… nevermind.
Blonde Jokes
What do you call 10 blondes at the bottom of a pool? Air Pockets What has 12 feet and an IQ of 40? A Blonde-tourage.
Penguin Puns
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
Why do Penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they haven’t got any pockets.
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets.
The Almost-Perfect Suit
A young banker decided to get his first tailor-made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit. A week later he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked fabulous, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror, he reached down to put his hands in the pockets and to his surprise, he noticed that there were no pockets. He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, "Didn't you tell me you were a banker?" The young man answered, "Yes, I did." "Weird," the tailor said, "who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?"
Funny Money Quotes
"Dogs have no money. Isn’t that amazing? They’re broke their entire lives. But they get through. Do you know why dogs have no money? .. No Pockets." ~ Jerry Seinfeld
Anti Jokes
Why do seals carry fish in their mouth?
Because they don't have pockets.
The Genius Student
Tommy was sitting in math class when suddenly his teacher asked him “Tommy, How much is 2 + 2?” Tommy, caught off guard, begins counting his fingers under the table mumbling to himself: “1…2…3…4,” before happily exclaiming “The answer is four!” “That’s correct,” answered his teacher, “but I saw you counting your fingers instead of doing the math in your head. So I want you to put your hands behind your back and tell me what do you get if you add 3 + 3?” Tommy put his hands behind his back, but his teacher saw that he was still moving uncomfortably as if he were trying to count fingers. After a few moments he said uncertainly, "is the answer six?" "You are correct," she replied, "but I see you're still counting fingers despite me asking you not to! Put your hands in your pant pockets and tell me what you get if you add 5 + 5." Tommy put his hands in his pants and his teacher saw him looking at his pants and moving his lips without uttering a word. Finally the teacher became impatient and said: "I see what you're doing there and I can tell you right now that the answer is not eleven!"