Jokes > Tags > Parking Jokes

Parking Jokes

Funny Break Up Lines
Are you a parking ticket? Because you're evidence that I made a mistake.
One Liners and Short Jokes
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Law of employment:
When leaving work late, you will mostly go unnoticed.
When you leave early, you will meet your boss at the parking lot.
Alien Puns
Where do aliens park their flying saucers?
At a parking meteor.
One Liners for Kids
What kind of driver never get a parking ticket? A screw driver
Classic Pick Up Lines
Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got FINE written all over you.
Witch Puns
What sign was posted in the witches' parking lot?
Violators will be toad.
Space Puns
Where do the astronauts park their vehicles? At the parking meteors.
Going to Hooters
Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to New York and the other to Washington. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each other. At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch. "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why Hooters?" "They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs." "You're on." At age 42, they meet and play golf again "Where you wanna go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Again? Why?" "They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games." "OK." At age 52 they meet and play again. "So where you wanna go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking." "OK." At age 62 they meet again. After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy." "Good choice" At age 72 they meet again. Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts." "Great choice." At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?" "Hooters." "Why?" "Because we've never been there before." “Okay, let’s give it a try."
History Puns
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
Funny Aging Quotes
"When you’re older, Friday means less parking spots." - Larry David
Jokes For Women
Why are Men like parking spaces? The good ones are already taken!
A Holy Parking Spot
A man drives to the local mall. He has been driving around and around for quite some time, struggling to find a parking space. “Lord,” he prays. “I can’t stand this. If you open a space up for me, I swear I’ll give up the drink and go to mass every Sunday.” Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. Without hesitation, the man says: “Never mind, found one!”
Spouse Puns
I got a parking ticket today and my husband just laughed.
He thought it was a fine joke.