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Painted Jokes

Cowboy Jokes
My Wife is leaving me because of my obsession with cowboys
But that's ok this town ain't big enough for the both of us.
---
Acowboy enters the saloon
"Who painted my horse blue??"

A huge guy stands up, and walks right into the cowboy's face.

"It was me, you have a problem with that?"

"No...I just wanted to let you know that it's dry and ready for the second coating."
Leg Puns
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Peach Puns
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
Cat Puns
I painted a picture of my cat’s feet today.
You could say it was a paw-trait.
Easter Puns
My son painted six Easter eggs the colors of the infinity gems.
I told him he made an Egg-finity omelette.
Funny Headlines
An Australian army vehicle worth $74,000 has gone missing after being painted with camouflage.
Cheese Puns
Did you hear what happened when the decorator painted his wife with cheese? He double Gloucester!
The George and Dragon
A tourist driving across rural England decided to stay the night in a small town. The only place with rooms available was a quaint English pub, The George and Dragon, which had a lovingly painted sign with a Knight beside a defeated dragon blowing in the evening breeze. Entering the bar room, which while empty had a roaring fire against the back wall, leather padded booths, and a mahogany bar with brass rails, polished to a shine, they went up to the bar and asked for a room. "Rooms cost £20 per night, we don't accept euros, and you must be out by 7am tomorrow, or else you pay for both days." "Alright then, could I get something to eat ma-" "Kitchen closed at 6, and I am not going back there until 11am tomorrow, no matter what you say. Anything else?" "Yes, could I please talk to George?"
Dog Puns
I painted my dog’s nails So he can look paw-ty.
Head Puns
My dad told me to finish his bird painting. He painted the head, torso and legs.
To be honest, I just winged it.
Art Puns
The artist painted himself into a corner, leading to his death.
Funny Limericks
A painter who lived in Great Britain,
Interrupted two girls with their knitting,
He said, with a sigh,
That park bench--well I,
Just painted it, right where you're sitting.
There was an Old Man with a poker,
Who painted his face with red oker
When they said, 'You're a Guy!'
He made no reply,
But knocked them all down with his poker.