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Neck Jokes

Corona Virus Jokes
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Blood Puns
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Werewolf Puns
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What a Priest is Doing in Hell
A priest appears at the gate to hell. Surprised, because priests were rare in hell, a demon gets curious and jumps into the priest's path. "How'd you die?" he thunders at him. The priest replied, "I had a heart attack." Demon: "Alright, what happened?" Priest: "Someone broke my windows, popped the tire on my Harley, and stole all my tools out of my shed." Demon: "Well that'd give some a heart attack alright. But you're a priest! Why are you in hell?" Priest: "Well, I was receiving confessionals when a boy walked in and said "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." I asked what he did. He said "I broke someone's windows, popped a tire on his Harley, and stole all his tools." I had a heart attack while I was chasing that little bastard."
Monster Puns
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
Jokes For Women
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with a car.
Throw you off a tree so high.
Hope you break your neck and die!
Twinkle Twinkle little star.
Go to heck, it isnt far.
Spine Puns
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)
Guitar Puns
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
Ghoul Puns
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Australian Pick Up Lines
I'll neck ya like Hawko necks a beer!