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Neck Jokes

What a Priest is Doing in Hell
A priest appears at the gate to hell. Surprised, because priests were rare in hell, a demon gets curious and jumps into the priest's path. "How'd you die?" he thunders at him. The priest replied, "I had a heart attack." Demon: "Alright, what happened?" Priest: "Someone broke my windows, popped the tire on my Harley, and stole all my tools out of my shed." Demon: "Well that'd give some a heart attack alright. But you're a priest! Why are you in hell?" Priest: "Well, I was receiving confessionals when a boy walked in and said "Forgive me father, for I have sinned." I asked what he did. He said "I broke someone's windows, popped a tire on his Harley, and stole all his tools." I had a heart attack while I was chasing that little bastard."
Blood Puns
I hate going to the doctor because all he does is suck blood from my neck.
Do NOT go see Dr. Acula!
Ghoul Puns
You know why vampires can raise ghouls?
Because they are neck romancers!
Corona Virus Jokes
I’m no vampire but I’m fine with getting no sleep and biting your neck all night.
Guitar Puns
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
Spine Puns
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
Jokes For Women
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Australian Pick Up Lines
I'll neck ya like Hawko necks a beer!
Twinkle Twinkle Funny Poems
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
I want to hit you with a car.
Throw you off a tree so high.
Hope you break your neck and die!
Twinkle Twinkle little star.
Go to heck, it isnt far.
Funny Animal Poems That Rhyme
Jim ordered a racehorse online
A thoroughbred sold in it's prime.
Now just for a laugh
They sent a giraffe
But it wins by a neck every time.

(Ray Gridley)
Werewolf Puns
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
Monster Puns
If two vampires have a race, will it be neck and neck?
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.