Mrs Jokes

Out On Family Safari
Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whisky, and started to look for her. In a clearing not far from the camp, they came upon a chilling sight: the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large male lion stood facing her. The wife said, "What are we going to do?" "Nothing," said Ben, "The lion got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it."
As the crowded elevator descended, Mrs. Simpson became too furious with her husband, who was delighted to be pressed against a gorgeous blonde.
As the elevator stopped at the main floor, the blonde suddenly whirled, slapped Mr. Simpson, and said, "That will teach you to pinch!"
Bewildered, Mr. Simpson was halfway to the parking lot with his wife when he choked, "I...I...didn't pinch that girl."
"Of course you didn't" said his wife, consolingly. "I did."
Why did Mr. and Mrs. Barnacle go to couples' counselling?
Because their marriage was the rocks.
What did Mrs. Pea say to his wife after she refused to listen to her? "I don't care, just do as you peas."
Why is Mrs Mayo mad at Mr Ketchup?
She caught him watching the salad dressing again.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
She was tired of raisin a family.
Mr. and Mrs. Peanut finally got married and tied the nut.
It’s going to be awkward if Mr. and Mrs. Burr...
ever lose their son Tim in a forest.
Mr. and Mrs. Apostrophe are divorcing....
He found her to be possessive- and she hated his contractions. The marriage felt like a sentence
Mr. and Mrs. Turner had a baby girl.
They named her Paige, and they just couldn't put her down.
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
Carolime
There once was a family, the Bigger’s.
There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.