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Missing Jokes

Funny Animal Quotes
“As wonderful as dogs can be, they are famous for missing the point.”—Jean Ferris
Yard Puns
How did the police find all the missing wood from the lumber yard?
It was chipped.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Heaven called, they're missing an Angel.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"Do you have a cell phone I could use?"
"Why?"
"Someone has to call God and tell him that one of his angels is missing."
- Couples Retreat (2009)
Funny Groucho Marx Quotes
"Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot."
Gorilla Puns
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
Sun Pick Up Lines
I barely noticed you in the winter months, you were missing from the sky.
Funny Break Up Lines
Whoa, Heaven must be missing an angel! Because you’re dead to me.
Tiger Puns
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
What is the only difference between a lion and a tiger? The mane part is missing in a tiger.
Funny Money Quotes
“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” – Earl Wilson
Clothes Pick Up Lines
Are you a Victoria's Secret model? Because heaven's missing an Angel.
Flamingo Puns
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Nuts Puns
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
Flower Pick Up Lines
I saw a flyer about a missing flower, would you call your florist and let him know you are safe?