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Major Jokes

Piano Puns
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
One Liners and Short Jokes
How do you get an Art Major off your front door step?
Pay for the PIZZA!
Lettuce Puns
A major produce organization is reeling after multiple reports of tainted lettuce.
We may soon witness the falling of the Romaine Empire.
Math Puns
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Ice Puns
Why should anyone experiment with thin ice?
It’s the best way to achieve a major breakthrough.
Italy Puns
After hearing about my history major, my dad said, “You should go visit Italy in late August.Then you can witness The Fall of Rome."
Football Puns
I went to Oxford University, where I was a philosophy major and the starting goalkeeper on the football team.
They called me Soccertes.
Biology Puns
How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam? An itsy bitsy book.
One Liners for Kids
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Hot Dog Puns
Why did the hot dog turn down a chance to star in a major motion picture? None of the rolls (roles) were good enough.
Chocolate Puns
What kind of candy is never on time? ChocoLATE
Music Pick Up Lines
You must be a C major scale... All natural.
I C Major potential in us getting together.
The 10 Second Rule
Two friends go skydiving. This is the first solo jump for the both of them. The plane lifts off and the instructor gives them their last instructions: "When the light above the door turns green, you can jump." The first guy (who is a major stutterer) asks: "w-w-w-will the p-p-p-parach-ch-ute open o-o-on its o-o-o-own?" The instructor says: "No sir, you have to pull the chord yourself. Just jump out, count to ten and then pull the chord." The light turns green and the second guy jumps first. After ten seconds he opens his parachute and lands safely in an open field next to a river. After a few minutes he hears a loud splash and he looks over to the river. The first guy comes up and says: "N-n-ine."