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Huge Jokes

History Puns
Name the subject that is most fruitiest among others. History because of it huge number of dates.
Diving Puns
I surprised the judges at my last diving competition by performing a cannonball.
I made a huge splash.
Fire Puns
A french farmer who owned an olive plantation had a huge fire
He was extremely sad, he had lost his all his huile d'olive.
What You Get For Smoking
A husband was addicted to smoking and drinking. One day, his wife got so angry that she told him: “If you keep on smoking, all of your intestines will fall out.” Her husband didn’t believe her, so he kept on smoking and drinking just like he always did. His wife was determined to prove herself right, so one day she went out early in the morning and bought some big intestines. She stuffed them in her husband’s underwear as he slept. A short while later, he woke up, let out a huge scream, and then fell silent for the next 30 minutes. After another 30 minutes of silence, he comes downstairs, sweating profusely. “What happened?” asked the wife. “You were right! My intestines did come out, but don’t worry honey - after a lot of work, I finally managed to push them back in.”
Piano Puns
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
Garden Puns
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
Pear Puns
A lorry load of pears has crashed on the motorway. It’s caused a huge jam.
Laundry Puns
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Yard Puns
My neighbor planted dogwood trees in his front yard.
I’m not a huge fan of the bark.
Toaster Puns
My new toaster oven is a huge improvement for making lunch.
I used to eat unappetizing sandwiches but I quit cold turkey.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Travel Puns
Windmills? I’m a huge fan!
Hair Puns
A guy was storing all the facial hair since he was young and had created a huge pile.
When his wife told him to get rid of it, he said "no, it's a must stash".
Huge explosion at the hair brush factory...
Investigators are still combing through the wreckage.
Beaver Puns
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
River Puns
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
A Thug For a Boyfriend
Sarah's parents are excited to meet her new boyfriend. This is the first time the 28 year old has brought a man to meet her parents. Her mother slaved over a hot stove all day, while the father cleaned the house and cut the grass. They both wore their best clothes and waited for Sarah. At 8PM they hear that ring. They open the door and Sarah is there, standing next to a huge man, full of tattoos, and a face that looks like it has been in every possible fight, with scars aplenty crossing his face. He looks like he beats people for a living. After some hesitant pleasantries, the shocked parents take Sarah to the kitchen. "What the heck, Sarah?" asked her mother, "Why would you date a guy like that, he looks like a thug!" "You've got him all wrong," said Sarah, irritated, "he's an incredibly nice and charitable guy." "What makes you say that?" asked her father. "Well, just this month he spent 200 hours serving his community!"