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Foot Jokes

The Italian Mama
Sophie just got married, and being a traditional Italian was still a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Sophie. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take care of you." So up she went. When she got upstairs, Luca took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Sophie ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Sophie", says the mother, "All good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Luca took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again Sophie ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Luca took off his pants, and he's got hairy legs!" "Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Luca's a good man. Go upstairs, and he'll take good care of you." So, up she went again. When she got up there, Luca took off his socks, and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Sophie saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Luca's got a foot and a half!" "Stay here and stir the pasta." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!"
Christian Pick Up Lines
I don't have a foot fetish, but I'm pretty into mistle-toe.
Flamingo Puns
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Baby flamingos really are badly behaved. I think it’s because their parents never put their foot down.
When my wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo,
I had to put my foot down.
Gnome Puns
Did you hear about the one-legged gnome?
He’s one foot tall.
Family Puns
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
Tiger Puns
It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
Easter Pick Up Lines
My foot isn't the only part of me that's lucky!
Onion Puns
During the battle between the two onion kings, one of them was on the back foot as it was leek-ing blood.
Yeti/ Bigfoot Puns
How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing?
He always finds the biggest footholds.
How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests?
He just follows the big footpath!
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
Hear about the race between the Yeti and the Sasquatch?
The Sasquatch won, by a big foot.
Movie Pick Up Lines
"Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."
- Austin Powers (1999)
Giant Puns
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?