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Flowers Jokes

Funny Aging Quotes
"At my age, flowers scare me." - George Burns
Flower Pick Up Lines
Flowers like our minds, open at the right time. Mine has opened to receive your love.
Hi, you’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick up line. Would you settle for just flowers?
Your beautiful face looks like a field of flowers.
Werewolf Puns
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
The Florist's Mix-Up
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card, which said: "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied: "Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this - somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying: “Congratulations on your new location!”
Marriage Puns
A couple is in marriage counseling and the wife tells the therapist that the husband never buys her flowers.
The husband says...
"I didn’t even know she sold flowers!"
Cherry Puns
What did the cherry say when it was given a bunch of flowers? You are cherry sweet.
Meat Puns
Pirates used to make a delicious snack for themselves by crossing pate with flowers. They called it “lily livered”.
Grocery Store Pick Up Lines
If you were a bouquet of fresh-cut flowers, I would take you home.
Garden Puns
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
A man walks into a flower shop "I'd like some flowers please."
"Certainly, Sir. What did you have in mind?"
He shrugs "Well I'm not sure, I uh, I uh, I uh..."
"Perhaps I could help. What exactly have you done?"
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Funny Marriage Quotes
“When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there’s a reason.” - Molly McGee
Gnome Puns
What do gnome allergy sufferers call a reaction caused by daisy-like flowers?
An aster-risk.