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Feet Jokes

Corona Virus Jokes
You know what they say... Big Feet.
Garden Quotes
"I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn."
- C.E. Cowman
Family Puns
When my grandparents came over they said: “You look like you’ve grown a foot!”
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
The Helicopter Lesson
A blonde was taking helicopter lessons. The instructor said, "I'll radio you every 1000 feet to see how you're doing." At 1000 feet, the instructor radioed her and said she was doing great. At 2000 feet, he said she was still doing well. Right before she got to 3000 feet, the propeller stopped, and she twirled to the ground. The instructor ran to where she crash landed and pulled her out of the helicopter. "What went wrong?" The blonde said, "At 2500 feet, I started to get cold, so I turned the big fan off."
Werewolf Puns
Why don’t werewolf make good dancers?
Because they have two left feet!
Food Poems
The ham's on your pillow,
The egg's in your sheet,
The bran muffin's rollin'
Down under your feet,
There's milk in the mattress,
And juice on the spread -
Well, you said that you wanted
Your breakfast in bed.

(Shel Silverstein)
Movie Pick Up Lines
"I know your feet must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day!"
- Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
Frankenstein Puns
How do you know Frankenstein is tired?
He’s dead on his feet.
A Desperate Prayer
A grandfather takes his grandchildren to the beach. They’re playing in the sand when suddenly, a massive wave comes and pulls the smallest grandson out into the water. Panicked, the grandfather prays to God. “Oh God, please bring him back! Please let him live, in your mercy. I'll do anything and worship you forever!” Almost immediately, an even bigger wave bursts out of the ocean, setting the little boy down right at his grandfather’s feet. He scoops him up in a huge hug, crying with relief. Then he stares up at the sky and says, “He had a hat.”
Giant Puns
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
Meat Puns
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
Literary Pick Up Lines
"You are adorable, mademoiselle. I study your feet with the microscope and your soul with the telescope."
― Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
Clothes Pick Up Lines
You know what they say about a man with big feet... he wears big shoes.
Funny Animal Quotes
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”

- Colette.
Halloween Pick Up Lines
That’s a nice Witch costume, but you won’t be needing the broom anymore, because you’ve already swept me off my feet.
Zombie Puns
Spent the whole day running around dressed as a zombie. I’m dead on my feet.
Classic Pick Up Lines
Your feet must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day long.