Decision Jokes

I made a snap decision to watch football today.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
Why did it take dad an hour to choose which skin cream to buy?
He didn't want to make a rash decision.
The Old Lady Shoplifter
An old lady gets caught shoplifting. On court day the lady and her husband who goes stand before the judge and she says to her, "Why did you shoplift?" And she says "I was hungry." The judge says "What did you take?" She replies, "A can of peaches." The judge thinks on this and comes to a decision. "How many peaches where in the can?" "Six." says the old lady. "Then you shall serve six days in jail." Decrees the judge. "Do you have anything to add?" "Ah, your honor?" Her husband suddenly raises his hand. "She stole a can of peas too."
I've fallen in love- I don't know why
I've fallen in love with a girl with one eye.

I knew from the start. It was plain to see
That this wonderful girl had an eye out for me

She's charming and witty and jolly and jocular
Not what you'd expect from a girl who's monocular.

Of eyes - at the moment - she hasn't full quota
But that doesn't change things for me one iota.

It must be quite difficult if you're bereft.
If your left eye is gone and your right eye is left.

But she's made up her mind. She's made her decision.
She can see it quite clearly in 10/20 vision.

She'll not leave me waiting, not left in the lurch
If she looks slightly sideways she'll see me in church.

I'll marry my true love who's gentle and kind.
And thus prove to everyone that loves not quite blind.

(By Andrew Jefferson)
How to Give Your Heritage Respect
A couple just had their first son. The husband is half Irish and half Indian, the wife is half Chinese and half Italian. That's a lot of heritage to inherit. They talk about it and they discover they both wish to have their son named after THEIR heritage. A terrible argument ensues, causing both of them a lot of anguish. After a few days, they finally came to a decision that made both of them happy. They decided on the name: Ravi O'Lee.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
What did one horse say to the other after he said he wanted to drop out?
That’s an equestionable decision.
My decision to become a Hindu was a missed steak
How did the mushroom end up on a vacation abroad? It was just a spore of the moment decision!
I'm thinking about buying a weighted blanket.
This is a most heavy decision.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
How does a group of sea turtles make a decision?
They flipper a coin.
How does a pod of dolphins make a decision?
They flipper coin!
How do whales make a decision?
They flipper coin.