Burn Jokes

Does a green candle burn longer than a pink candle? No they both burn shorter.
Birthday candles don’t exercise because they burn out too quickly!
How did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his food before it was cool.
Have you ever tried setting fire to a flamingo? It’s really easy, you just burn the O.
This April fools, I decided to swipe right on only the ugly people on Tinder and then burn them.
Still no matches.
If a person would have several friends,
here's the thing upon which it depends;
are you willing to share
when there isn't much there
and burn up your day from both ends.

(By Steve Mckee)
What's the difference between sanitizer and moisturizer?
One will burn your eyes, the other will moisturize.
My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them. I did that and I feel much better but I'm wondering... do I keep the letters?
Why did the hipster burn his lips?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his tea before it was cool.
Cooking a Hawaiian pizza and don't want to burn it?
Be sure to cook it at aloha temperature.
I once saw a guy burn to death after nutting
“He cumbusted”
I know a fun activity that can burn 500 calories an hour...
You must be one spicy dish because you're making my heart burn.
Does a pink candle burn longer than a blue one?
No, they both burn shorter!