Buddy Jokes

"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it."
— Buddy Hackett
What Reincarnation is All About
A soldier is reading a book while off duty when he sees his sergeant coming. Everyone hated sergeant Thompson, he always had a big stick up his bum. "Private." "Sergeant Thompson, Sir!" the soldier said, standing up smartly. "At ease." The soldier gladly returned to his book... until he realized the sergeant is still standing over him, staring at the cover. "Yes, Sarge?" "What's that rubbish you're reading there, private? Re..incar..nation? What's that all about?" "Well," smiles the soldier, "It's pretty simple sir. Say you died, God forbid, and we buried you. Then a few months later grass grew on that plot of land. Then a cow came and ate that grass. As nature dictates, a few hours later it passes it through its stomachs and dumps it out on the ground... Then I would walk by and say: "Hey Sarge, you haven't changed a bit!""
I asked my buddy if he wanted to know what the word “the” was in Spanish. He expressed his disinterest and I responded with...
"Your los."
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
Is it acceptable to take the epidermis from your butt and graft it onto a buddy?
Ass skin for a friend.
The moon asked the sun: Buddy when you are so hot, why are you single yet?
While leaving, the peach friend told his sad buddy, "If you need any help, just peach out, I will be there."
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
Officer: "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try it again. Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"
My writer buddy went to buy a new boat...
He named it Penman-Ship.
What did the deer tell his buddy before he took a test?
“Good buck!”
The Lost Coat
Two senior gentlemen are working at a sewage treatment plant. One guy goes off to lunch and comes back to find his buddy standing above a vat of sewage with a long rake. "What are you doing?!" he yells "My coat fell in!" his buddy yells back "You're not really gonna wear that again are you?!" his friend said worriedly. "No, no. Gosh no!" Says the old man to the relief of his friend. "I have to get it back though. My teeth are in the pocket!"
“Once when I was golfing in Georgia, I hooked the ball into the swamp. I went in after it and found an alligator wearing a shirt with a picture of a little golfer on it.”

- Buddy Hackett.
How did Poseidon greet the sea monster?
- Hey buddy, what's kraken?
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Happy Birthday, Old Buddy!
Are you like me a bit?
I let my mind wander,
It didn't come back...
But better over the hill...
...than under it.
“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” – Buddy Hackett