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Bernard Jokes

Funny Marriage Quotes
“Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.”—George Bernard Shaw
Funny Work Quotes
"The British soldier can stand up to anything except the British War Office."
~ George Bernard Shaw
Friendship Quotes
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.”
– Bernard Meltzer
“A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows you are slightly cracked.”
— Bernard Meltzer
Christian Quotes
No man ever believes that the Bible means what it says. He is always convinced that it says what he means. -- George Bernard Shaw
Funny Money Quotes
“If all the economists were laid end to end, they’d never reach a conclusion." ~George Bernard Shaw
Funny Animal Quotes
“If you eliminate smoking and gambling, you will be amazed to find that almost all an Englishman’s pleasures can be, and mostly are, shared by his dog.”
George Bernard Shaw