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Bears Jokes

If You're Outdoors, Wear a Bell Please
"Important Announcement: In light of the rising frequency of human - grizzly bear conflicts, the Alaska Department of Fish and Game is advising hikers, hunters, and fishermen to take extra precautions and keep alert of bears while in the field. They advise that outdoorsmen wear noisy little bells on their clothing so as not to startle bears that aren't expecting them. They also advise outdoorsmen to carry pepper spray with them in case of an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch out for fresh signs of bear activity. Outdoorsmen should recognize the difference between black bear and grizzly bear dung. Black bear dung is smaller and contains lots of berries and squirrel fur. Grizzly bear dung has little bells in it and smells like pepper."
Sloth Puns
My grandfather recently passed, and I discovered in his journal that he has an immense hatred for sloths, pandas, and koala bears. Looking back, it was obvious.
He was always going on about those darn tree-huggers.
Hair Puns
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
Ear Puns
What do you call Bears without ears
B.
Ghoul Puns
Which monster did the three bears catch sleeping?
Ghouldilocks!
Orange Puns
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
Bear Puns
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Taco Puns
People who use sleeping bags in the woods are soft tacos for bears.
Divorce Puns
Two white bears got married, but soon ended up unhappy and got divorced.
It’s as if they were polar opposites.
Worm Puns
My wife asked why I prefer gummy bears to gummy worms.
I said that gummy worms are beneath me.