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Base Jokes

Baseball Pick Up Lines
My lead off's not great, and though I may be off base, I'd like to take you on a date.
You know, I've never needed a third base coach to wave me home.
Cowboy Jokes
After a day of entertaining the troops, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders meet with the base commander to discuss the rest of the evening.
“Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” the commander asks.



“I don’t think it matters to the ladies,” the head cheerleader says, “but I’m sure a lot of the girls would like to get something to eat first.”
Zebra Puns
Which color is a zebra's base color? The debate is endless, and there is no clear answer.
It both is and isn't a black-and-white issue.
Meat Puns
Make no bones about it, home made stock is a really good base for soups.
The Secure Bench
A new general was allotted to a new army base. After some time in the base he realized how there were two army men guarding an empty bench in shifts. He asked his colleagues and his juniors what it was all about. A colleague said “I don’t know but it’s been a tradition here since joined 35 years ago.” The general confused as he was went through the past generals of that base till he found the one that was in charge 35 years ago. He attempted to find him, and found that he had retired and he lived in the countryside now. He contacted him and requested to meet. On the day of the meeting the general asked the retired commander why that bench was guarded so much. The commander was shocked. “So you’re telling me the paint on that bench hasn’t dried yet?!”
Engineering Puns
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
After suffering weak gain at the poles, the National Transistor Party has been trying to energize their base.
Piano Puns
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Baseball Puns
And yes, gnomes are always trying to get to first base with the ladies.
What's the best advice to give to a young baseball player?
If you don't suceed at first, try second base.
How do baseball players stay in contact with each other?
They touch base every once in a while.
Why did DPD rush to Coors Field?
They heard somebody stole third base.
Why was the nice guy such a lousy baseball player?
Because he never got to home base.
Dinosaur Puns
What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops? Enormous holes in the base boards.
Cowboy Puns
After a day of entertaining the troops, the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders meet with the base commander to discuss the rest of the evening.
“Would you girls like to mess with the enlisted men or the officers this evening?” the commander asks.

“I don’t think it matters to the ladies,” the head cheerleader says, “but I’m sure a lot of the girls would like to get something to eat first.”