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Bad Jokes

Movie Pick Up Lines
"Let's hop on the good foot and do the bad thing."
- Austin Powers (1999)
Funny Aging Quotes
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” – Maurice Chevalier
"Old age comes at a bad time." – San Banducci
Friendship Quotes
“Whenever I’m sad, you’re there. Whenever I’m having problems you are always there. Whenever my life seems out of control, you are always there. Let’s face it. You are bad luck.”
— Unknown
“A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.”
— Arnold H. Glasgow
“We’ve been friends for so long, I can’t remember which one of us is the bad influence.”
— Unknown
Food Quotes
“Red meat is not bad for you. Now, blue-green meat—that’s bad for you!”
— Tom Smothers
Yard Puns
There is a German shepherd next door that keeps burying bones in my yard and taking poops on my flower bed.
His dog is not as bad.
Space Pick Up Lines
Are you an exoplanet? Because I’m bad at astronomy and pick up lines.
Funny Health Quotes
"Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory"- Albert Schweitzer
"Red meat is not bad for you. Now blue-green meat, that's bad for you!" - Tommy Smothers
"A bad cold wouldn't be so annoying if it weren't for the advice of our friends." - Kin Hubbard
“I have removed all the bad food from my house, it was delicious.”
Garden Quotes
“An addiction to gardening is not all bad when you consider all the other choices in life.”
— Cora Lea Bell
Kitchen Puns
Cooking always puts my wife in a bad mood...
She beats the eggs and whips the cream.